I Punched Keanu Reeves
A Love Letter to Pop Culture's Greatest Hits That Never Existed
Hey weirdos! Taking a little detour from my usual brand strategy talk today. A song on my playlist sparked this whole train of thought that I just had to share. Sometimes we all need these creative side quests, right? So indulge me for a minute...
Fictional Bands That Deserve Real Fame
Look, I'll just say it: some of the best bands in existence never actually existed.
That hit me today when a fictional track crashed into my playlist and I realized just how much these make-believe musical acts have shaped my actual taste. So, I wanted to take a moment to celebrate a few of the bands that broke through the fourth wall and into my heart.
Hello Peril
Movie: Always Be My Maybe
If you haven't seen this film yet, stop reading this right now and go watch it. It's one of the most genuine rom-coms to emerge in the last 15 years, and I won't apologize for my obsession.
Randall Park's Hello Peril isn't just adorable, their songs are catchy as hell. "I Punched Keanu Reeves" doesn't just slap; it stays with you long after the movie ends.
Fun Trivia: Randall Park has a real-life hip-hop background! Before his acting career took off, he was part of a rap group called Ill Again, which explains why he's so damn convincing as a musician in the film.
Sex Bob-Omb
Movie: Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
When Beck writes songs for your fictional band, you're already operating on a different level. Sex Bob-Omb embodies that raw garage-band energy that makes you want to start your own band despite having zero musical talent.
Fun Trivia: The actors playing in Sex Bob-Omb (Michael Cera, Alison Pill, and Mark Webber) learned to play their instruments specifically for the film and performed the songs themselves during filming rather than miming to a backing track. Talk about commitment to the bit!
The Beets
TV Show: Doug
The Beets prove something vital: fictional bands from kids' shows often go harder than they have any right to. (I’m looking at you, Phineas and Ferb)
"Killer Tofu" still lives rent-free in my brain decades later, and I'm not even slightly sorry if reading this puts that earworm back into your head for the rest of the day.
Fun Trivia: There is a real-life band called The Beets, but they are not related to the cartoon band. They are an indie rock/punk rock band from Queens, New York.
PoP!
Movie: Music and Lyrics
I just adore this movie. It’s the perfect nostalgic rom-com for Gen Xers that were obsessed with bands like Wham and Duran Duran (It’s me, hi.) Hugh Grant's fake '80s band PoP! delivered songs that outshine many real '80s hits. "Pop Goes My Heart" isn't just a pitch-perfect parody; it's legitimately better than many songs it's parodying.
The fact that I've caught myself humming it in grocery stores is both embarrassing and a testament to its power. Try not dancing to it. I dare you.
Fun Trivia: The music video for "Pop Goes My Heart" in the movie was directed by the actual film's director Marc Lawrence, who studied authentic '80s videos obsessively to nail every cheesy visual trope from the era.
Ellen Aim & The Attackers
Movie: Streets of Fire
Young Diane Lane fronting this fictional band delivers what might be the most criminally underrated fake song in cinema. The energy, the staging, the pure rock and roll attitude—it all combines into something magical.
The movie is gorgeous, neo-noir meets retro future western. Pretty sure my love of bizarre anti-heroes began with Willem Dafoe’s villain, Raven Shaddock.
Fun Trivia: The songs were written by Jim Steinman, the legendary composer behind Meat Loaf's biggest hits!
Why Fictional Bands Rock So Hard
There's something special about these fictional bands. They're the idealized version of what we want music to be: immediate, emotional, and unforgettable. They exist solely in the universe of our favorite movie or television show, so they can’t ever disappoint us. They connect us to a place and time in our lives…like a perfect pop culture time capsule.
What fictional bands live in your playlist? What made-up musical act captured your imagination? Drop your favorites in the comments—the weirder, the better.