The Great Ketchup Conspiracy
Or Why Your Customers Are Drowning in Choices
Have you ever thought about ketchup? Not just any ketchup – all 50+ fucking varieties on the grocery store shelf. Yes, fifty. I wish I were making this up. I recently went down the rabbit hole of ketchup comparison articles (because that's a thing now), and holy information overload, Batman! But here's where this condiment chaos connects to your brand's story.
We're living in the age of infinite options, where every consumer is supposedly an expert detective with a PhD in Google searching. Your customers are suffocating under an avalanche of choices. They don't want more choices. They don't need another spreadsheet of features. They're drowning in data but dying of thirst for something else entirely.
What they need is a lighthouse in the chaos.
I witnessed a humorous moment of decision paralysis a few months ago. This poor guy was standing in front of the ketchup shelf, staring into the void like he was trying to decode the Matrix. Three whole minutes passed (yes, I timed it, because I'm that kind of weirdo). When I finally broke the silence with "Who knew there were so many, right?" his response hit me right in the gut: "I just want ketchup."
Let me pull back the curtain for a second. I've been deep in the trenches lately, crafting a custom sales training program for a B2B sales team. And let me tell you – the data is screaming one truth: decision paralysis isn't just a cute marketing term. It's the monster under every consumer's bed. They've got all the information in the world at their fingertips, but they're frozen in the headlights of endless options.
Stop being another choice in the sea of sameness. Instead, be the guide who helps people navigate through the bullshit. Your customers already know they need what you're offering – that's not the problem. Your job is to light up the path that leads them straight to your door and show them why your unique flavor of awesome is exactly what they've been craving.
Think about Ketchup Guy for a minute. He knew he needed ketchup, but the wall of options might as well have been written in hieroglyphics. Imagine if one brand had been bold enough to cut through the noise with "Hey, looks like you could use a hand navigating Condiment Canyon." Not only would they have made the sale, they would have earned themselves a loyal advocate who remembers the time someone gave a damn about their ketchup crisis.
When I talk about setting your brand apart from the competition, this is what I mean. Not by overwhelming them with options, but by being the clarity they're desperate for. That's how you build a brand that sticks.
Tell me about your own 'ketchup moment' – what's the most ridiculous case of choice overload you've encountered in your industry?
A version of this article originally appeared on Launching Your Success in 2017.
